Comments on: Baby Manipulator

By: Laura Grace Weldon

Laura Grace Weldon — Wed, 15 Apr 2015 16:38:02 +0000

Claims that babies can manipulate us makes me think of the soundproof wall separating prisoner and visitor. It deprives both people of a real connection.

I too started out as an over-entertainer of babies, desperate that every moment be one of happiness. By the time my first baby was seven weeks old I was a mess.

Then I tried an experiment. I tried letting him choreograph my movements. I’m sure I looked silly, but it gave me insights that changed the way I understood my role and his. Here it is if you’re interested.

mothering.com/articles/experience-babys-world/

(BTW, in my house I always feed the first pancake to the dogs!)

By: Lee

Lee — Sun, 15 Sep 2013 20:08:00 +0000

In reply to Jaime. I agree. One child a valid study does not make. My son was colicky and cried incessantly. I talked to him as an adult, and he would scream. His brain would go on overload with stimulation and it would be impossible to break him of it without bouncing and singing to him loudly on an exercise ball, running him in a stroller on a rough road, or driving in the car. But driving only worked late at night when he was really beat and I had to play a tool song with a crying baby to snap him out of his mental loops.any other time he would scream, until 10 months old. Talking rationally to highly sensitive children just doesn't work. They need physical reinforcement, be it swaddling, shshing, swinging. Over time my needing to help him organize feelings has become less and less, but he still is more sensitive and has bigger emotions than many children.

By: Jaime

Jaime — Sun, 15 Sep 2013 14:27:15 +0000

Again I love the philosophy that all infants “need” to cry as a way of release yet when it comes to special needs or high needs infants I feel that at times the use of swaddles and pacifiers as a way to soothe an overstimulated infant is in fact healthy. My son suffered so much gastro pain and general colic due to his SPD that he would turn purple from crying when he got tired. He couldn’t fall asleep on his own. It was like his brain and body went into overdrive. At 4 we still see remnants of this (overtired=overactivity). I felt it was my duty as his loving parent to help him find a sense of organization so he could actually fall asleep. this meant swaddling him, wearing him and or bouncing him. Holding and rocking him just wasnt enough until he was older,
like 12 Months. I don’t believe that using these types of methods was harmful to him. I believe it would have been more harmful to not help soothe him to sleep when he obviously was unable to do this himself.

By: Meanie

Meanie — Sun, 15 Sep 2013 12:29:15 +0000

I have two pancakes, reading about someone else burning the first one makes me feel so not-so-alone. I have so many pangs of guilt for doing exactly what you did – crazy dancing and all, just because I had no idea WHAT I was doing. Thanks for this.

By: janet

janet — Mon, 07 May 2012 01:13:39 +0000

In reply to Maggie Macaulay. Thank you, Maggie!

By: Maggie Macaulay

Maggie Macaulay — Mon, 07 May 2012 00:21:36 +0000

In reply to janet. The "singed pancake" is so funny and true! Thanks for another wonderful article. Definitely going in Parenting News!

By: janet

janet — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 19:21:28 +0000

In reply to lindsay. Aww, thank you, Lindsay!

By: lindsay

lindsay — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:02:44 +0000

your daughter is a lucky young woman, janet.

By: janet

janet — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 13:35:04 +0000

In reply to Aunt Annie’s Childcare.

Thanks, Aunt Annie! The driving just seemed so pointless to me. Plus, none of my babies were ever able to “transfer” from the car without waking up.

We’ll be taking our singed pancake off to college in a couple of days. She’s truly an amazing girl…has blown me away with her innate wisdom, taught me so much about life and love.

By: Aunt Annie's Childcare

Aunt Annie's Childcare — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 06:00:25 +0000

Oh, Janet- you’ve given me such a wonderful laugh. ‘You always burn the first pancake!’ Hysterical!

And I’ll put my hand up for driving my son all the way across town regularly out of sheer desperation. If I’d only known then what I know now…!!!