Comments on: The Parenting Magic Word (10 Ways To Use It)

By: janet

janet — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 19:18:43 +0000

In reply to Sue Baker. Yes!

By: Sue Baker

Sue Baker — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 14:59:32 +0000

I love this post and the magic word. I really feel like that’s why children are attracted to grandparents, because in their presence, they get the time to develop, explore, and do for themselves. Older adults have raised children and are usually more relaxed and patient when around young children.

By: Kristen Navara

Kristen Navara — Wed, 22 Jan 2020 14:53:04 +0000

Hi Janet. I’ve just discovered your site, and all of the parenting advice you give (including this post) is so spot on and helpful. Waiting is absolutely critical when raising children. You suggest waiting when babies cry. This is particularly important at night. If parents just wait 30 seconds (which feels like an eternity, but it isn’t) before picking kids up at night, many times the babies will go back to sleep. It helps them develop normal sleep cycles. I look forward to reading more from you!

By: Cameo

Cameo — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 15:21:50 +0000

Waiting and watching my child is a wonderful feeling. Just now my four-year-old started unloading a stacking game into an old, squashy armchair notorious for swallowing items of all sizes, and I felt the urge to caution him against playing with loose pieces on it, but I waited. After discovering the chair’s instability as a building surface, he quickly moved his activity to the hardwood floor. Confidence-building experience for him and I have one more positive feeling to help me through rough moments.

By: Ines

Ines — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 23:08:20 +0000

Thanks Janet for another beautiful and life-changing post. Ever since getting to know RIE through your books and posts, I’ve tried hard to implement your ideas.
I often struggle to wait long enough in the everyday stressful moments. But one that came rather easy to me was waiting for my daughter to be able to express gratitude and to truly feel sorry. It just never seemed right for me to demand those things from a baby/toddler who doesn’t even understand the concept yet or comes from a totally different point of view. So I chose to do it for her whenever socially required and just model.
My daughter started saying thank you copying like everything else. Now that she’s almost four it’s just built into her language use (both in German and Italian) but she also makes a point of thanking for something specifically whenever she feels it’s appropriate.
When she apologizes I can hear how sorry she feels. The first time she said sorry, it was days after the event, so it struck me how long she had reflected about it. I loved that it was her who chose the time to apologize and was so thankful for having waited and trusted in that moment.
Thank you so much for giving me the tools to help her become emotionally competent.
And by the way we live in southern Italy where the parenting we see around us is the exact opposite of what RIE advocates. So seeing my trust in her rewarded is ever more special. 🙂
And I’ll say it again, your books in Italian could change the future of this country. Not kidding.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 20:04:12 +0000

No doubt I am guilty of not waiting for my two-year-old son to do things in his own time and way, but I really notice it with his grandparents (my parents and my husband’s). Maybe this is a characteristic of the Baby Boomer generation of parents? For example, if we ask my son a question, they cannot wait for him to try to answer. Instead, they jump in and answer for him! We might ask, “What color do you like?” Grandma quickly answers, “Green!” It’s all I can do to say, “we know what color you like, Grandma, but I was asking the boy.” Thank you for teaching me about the power of giving a child the space and time to be fully himself. I know it has strengthened my bond with my son and allowed me to get to know the real him.

By: jenny

jenny — Tue, 29 Nov 2016 02:57:04 +0000

In reply to Syed Abul Farah.

I’m not sure why you think wait isn’t a positive word. I think it’s very positive. It’s not saying not to do something, it’s saying to do something… to give more of something (time), rather than to take away or give less. It’s not saying not to do something. Just to wait, to pause, and that is where the magic happens.

By: Ruth

Ruth — Fri, 11 Nov 2016 20:37:08 +0000

In reply to Gayle. I'm sorry, but I disagree that RIE has anything to do with wealth. Both my partner and I work, we have no close family to rely on (we live abroad) and are not well off. All it takes to create time and space is to be a bit more organised. I get up extra early in the morning to get ready before our daughter wakes up and get food etc. sorted for the next day in the evening when she is asleep. Doesn't cost me anything, just hard work, planning and patience

By: janet

janet — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 03:23:42 +0000

In reply to Juliana. Yay! So glad to hear that, Juliana! Thank you so much for sharing with me

By: Juliana

Juliana — Thu, 23 Jun 2016 03:14:45 +0000

In reply to Mary Laing Pease. Exactly how I feel. It filled my heart up. <3