Comments on: The Key To Your Child’s Heart (7 Ways It Works)

By: Hayley Adamson

Hayley Adamson — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 20:23:40 +0000

In reply to Scott. This is the “sportscasting” Janet mentions in her books

By: Linda

Linda — Mon, 06 May 2019 17:52:57 +0000

Can you also post about things such as not bowing down to your child every time it demands something and remind the parent that they are THE PARENT.
I feel parents who aren’t doing a great job, seek reassurance from online websites. Parenting should come natural to us.
Things you have mentioned in your post above should be common knowledge but I feel a parent who raises their child by a book, isn’t a very confident one and may need more help than a book.
I am not trying to say that your posts are not interesting but some people rely on it and I know people who are raising freaks because they don’t trust their instincts.
They aren’t creating a healthy relationship with their child, in fact, they are doing them more harm than good by raising them by the book.

By: Abby

Abby — Sun, 21 Jan 2018 12:58:31 +0000

Excellent post! Look forward to practicing this

By: Julie

Julie — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 22:52:14 +0000

In reply to Anna. I go for the, "What a bummer!" tone. We are not robots so should show by our tone as well as our words that we understand.

By: Emilie

Emilie — Wed, 27 Apr 2016 02:25:51 +0000

Hi Janet! Thanks for the lovely article. I was searching your page for guidance with my 3-year old’s frequent hurt feelings, typically related to rejection on the playground (other children either not interested in playing with her or outright saying they don’t like her). After one of these incidents, she sadly walked back to me and said the other children don’t like her. Later, I saw her acting out the scenarios with her dolls. She’s highly sensitive and takes other children’s comments to heart. How can I best support her through these scenarios while instilling a positive sense of self-worth? Thanks, in advance, for your guidance.

By: Alice

Alice — Sat, 16 Apr 2016 09:54:13 +0000

In reply to Natalie.

The problem with the first example is the word ‘but’: you’re acknowledging the feeling but it’s not really important to you. The beauty of the second example is that you are preparing your child for what is about to come. So something like: “this is the last show on tv now, then we’re going to…” and then acknowledge the feeling if it comes.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:33:58 +0000

I would like to learn more about how to apply this to older children. Pre teens. Is there a good resource you can recommend or any advice for this age group.

By: Anna

Anna — Sat, 14 Nov 2015 07:12:04 +0000

In reply to janet.

Speaking of tone, I was wondering what tone to take / emotion to express/model. Specifically, should I mirror my child’s emotion (in a more controlled manner, of course!), or be purely matter-of-fact? When I say, “You’re upset because you want to stay in the bath and it’s time to get out,” should I have a tone of voice and look on my face that conveys, “Yeah, what a bummer!” or one that just conveys something more like, “It is what it is.”

By: Natalie

Natalie — Mon, 20 Jul 2015 11:25:42 +0000

I’m a little bit confused. In another article you state that saying something like ” I know you’re upset about leaving the park but it’s time to pick up your brother” diminishes the child’s feelings–but here you say that “Before you tell your child that it’s time to leave the park, or remind him that the really cool truck he’s examining has to stay at the store, acknowledge his point of view.” It seems like it the example from the other article (which you suggest we don’t do) is doing exactly what you suggest in this article. I’m looking for clarification because I have a very strong willed two year old, and it doesn’t seem like what we’re doing is working! For example, there’s a tantrum every time we turn off the tv and I usually say something like ” I can see how upset you are, but too much tv isn’t good for your brain” sometimes the screaming lasts for 30 minutes or longer after this.

By: Clara

Clara — Sat, 20 Jun 2015 23:38:30 +0000

In reply to Sara.

Someone once said, “The opposite of love is not anger but indifference.”

They may not hate in the way an adult would use the word. They may be mad at the other person. Perhaps children don’t have the nuances to describe or feel emotions like adults do. They certainly don’t filter them through decades of experience.

Mr Rogers did an episode on anger. As he said, the very same people who make you glad sometimes are the very same people who make you mad sometimes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2kKXxN-6aM

http://pbskids.org/rogers/videos/

Check out the song “What do you do with the mad that you feel? under the songs section in the above link.