Comments on: Navigating Get-Togethers with Relatives, Friends, and Their Kids

By: Visiting Family – Mountain Village School

Visiting Family – Mountain Village School — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 01:23:16 +0000

[…] Lansbury has a wonderful, thorough podcast on this topic which I would encourage you to check out if you have the time. Some highlights […]

By: janet

janet — Fri, 19 May 2023 17:13:48 +0000

In reply to Grace Escamilla.

Hi Grace,
Sounds like you did your best with what you were able to control. It’s hard to see children treated like that by their parents, I know! But that’s where our influence ends. I would not try to counter the parents point of view, because it’s obvious they are not open to hearing it. Take care and thanks for sharing. x

By: Grace Escamilla

Grace Escamilla — Fri, 19 May 2023 17:08:24 +0000

Hi,
One time in a child’s party my 4 year old was at the trampolines and there was this 7 year old pushing kids, my husband entered the trampolines to separate our kid of the 4 year old. I told him if he wanted to leave, and he told me not, because our child was playing happy. Our kid wasnt bothered to be pushed, but its something he should not allow others to do to him, he could get hurt. Then all the kids leaved the trampolines (it was the show time) and the 7 year old stayed and started kicking pillow blocks that where nearby the trampolines. Since there was no one there, just the 7 year old and the trampolines área is big, we allowed our 4 year old and 1 year old in the trampolines. Our one year old stomped with the 7 year old, he fell and then he got up normally and laughing, but the seven year old push him with intention when he stand, my little boy fell face down the trampolin, hitting his face. He did not got hurt, he didnt complain. I enter the trampolines, asked my little one if he was ok, he nodded and then told the kid, as politly as I can, that my kid was 1 year old and he didnt notice when he bump on him, I asked how old was he, and told me 7 year old. I asked the kid to please be careful not to push on purpose as little kids dont notice the age difference and they are just playing. He told me he didnt push him (he did, I saw him). Then I invite him, that if he want to play soccer, there is an area at the playground where he can do it, and poing to show him the area. I went out of the trampolines with my one year old and the 7 year old parents where there, they got his kid out and start yelling at him, punishing him, his kid was crying. I felt so bad, and tried to told the mom I just invite him to soccer area and she told me not to mess with other people kids. My husband and me went to another area, but our kids keep trying to go to the trampolines, so we decided to leave….
So my question here is, I did intervene, tried to make it safe , the boy got grounded and the parents were in rage. What would you do instead?

By: janet

janet — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 19:10:34 +0000

In reply to Felicia. Why do you think your 9 year old nephew is so bothered by this behavior?

By: Felicia

Felicia — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 13:06:17 +0000

Janet, what about older cousins who get angry with a younger cousin’s imagination? My nephew is rigid and rules the roost at his house. He is the oldest at 9. My 4 year old is very creative and imaginative! Loves to be deeply immersed in play and travels to Egypt, has his own rockets, etc! My nephew has started making a big deal about my sons “lies” and says harshly “you’ll never have friends!!!”and I tried to explain to him my son is just a little boy with a big imagination. Any tips?!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 08:11:26 +0000

Janet – I would really appreciate your input, expanding on what you were saying in response to a parent’s question around handling aggression when other parents are not stepping in to provide that safe boundary. I am experiencing exactly this at a forest school – physical aggression directly towards my son every time the child is frustrated or angry about something that doesn’t go the way he wants. Parents attend and both his parent and myself are usually close, but never close enough to stop it! For example, suddenly stamping on his head from up above whilst up a tree, or kicking him in the cheek when he wasn’t able to do something my child was doing, or throwing mud in his eye (we were sitting back but it’s impossible to stop most of these incidents, unless you’re literally sitting on top of them while they play!) I focus on my son and asking if he is OK, and the other child’s parent is always reactive – firmly says “that is NOT OKAY!” and sometimes takes things away, if he was hit with a stick, for example. I stay quiet as the other parent steps in quickly and with a loud and firm voice to react to a particular behaviour, and it continues every single week so it’s become a default pattern. I was told that as he has older siblings he tends to fight for what he wants and the siblings along him to hit etc. Unfortunately the group is so small that he has only this one child around his age to play with – so is very exposed. My son seems to feel safe every time the other parent reacts strongly and likes to follow her around – but the physical behaviour is not helping his confidence at all, or is something I want to continue to see happening. I don’t feel like it’s a safe space for him to play. He wants to go back each week. Any advice would be so appreciated. Thank you!