Hi Janet,

My 2 Yr old attends nursery twice a week and recently he has started initiating role play at home where he takes toys from me and says ‘Mummy crying’, then he gives me the toy back and pretends to cry himself. I assume this is a new experience with his nursery friends and he wants to explore the emotions that have come up, with me at home.

He often reenacts moments to help him process, for example if he falls over. But, I’m not sure if I should play along to support him to try out those social interactions (especially as he has no siblings) or if I’m being inauthentic to pretend I’m upset when I’m not, plus I don’t want to make it into a game.

Any advice?!

I am not an expert like janet but i feel, we must consistently avoid snatching because they will be confused when we say no occasionally. “Yday mom was ok when I snatched a cookie from my friend, now why is she saying no, when I do the same with this girl in a park.” Afterall they are innocent kids, know nothing of the world n materialistic things.
I don’t allow my son to take food from my plate as it may get habitual to grab food from others plates. While my hubby is always ok with it.

Hi Richa,

Which part of India are you from? I am Indian practicing RIE. So glad to see other Indians on this platform

Thanks so much for this information. I have a similar situation in that my 23 month old has started hitting to gain attention. We have an older dog who doesn’t really want to play with him, but our son will go up to him, try to engage him in play, then hit when the dog doesn’t respond. (The dog is a saint). We just noticed this is happening with his friends too. If one of his friends is playing with a toy on her own and our son wants her to engage with him, he’ll hit her to get her attention.

Currently, we are stepping in to prevent the hitting and explaining that we can’t demand others’ attention, but how can we have him engage more appropriately? I saw imitating as an option – how does that work? And with the dog, who does not (and will not) want to engage, how do we teach him to move on?

Thanks!

Thank you for this! What if Tom in this story was a small, younger girl and Sabrina was a larger, older boy so that when the child with the toy tried to stand their ground and hold on, it gets ripped from their hands anyway?

I’ve told my daughter to say it’s not free when we’re with her friend who I’m regularly takes what she has and she clings on for dear life but if he rips it from her hands, do you still just sportscast? It feels very odd to watch it happen to her when she’s holding for dear life but doesn’t have a hope of winning! Thank you

Would you use a similar approach in a toddler/infant sibling scenario? My 2 year old is constantly taking toys from his 6 month old sister. Often he will take every single item near her so she has nothing. She doesn’t seem to mind, as she’s happy just watching her big brother. I’m sure this is an attention issue. He’s trying to get our attention off her and onto him. I’d like him to do this in a more positive way, though. We do try to give him plenty of individual time, and I know it’s hard being a big brother. But he always goes back to this one behavior.

Dear Janet,
I have a 2 year old boy and I have been nannying another 2 year old girl since they were both 3 months old. My son seems to only steal toys from her but it happens frequently. He seems to do it to either initiate play or get a reaction. He always gets a REALLY strong reaction. The poor dear cries hystericaly. I always intervene. It almost seems wrong not because she is so very upset. Intervening is not working. Should I let them work it out themselves?
Sincerely, confused nanny and mom

Thanks for reading! The best way is to allow and even encourage the conflict while blocking any hitting or pushing, etc. Instead of explaining, just acknowledge what you see in as neutral a manner as you can. “Ah, you really want that!” “And you want that, too!” “You are both holding onto the toy now. Ah, it’s hard when you both want the same one.” I have a podcast where I demonstrate:https://www.janetlansbury.com/2014/06/toddler-toy-battles-interventions-that-work-podcast/

I hope that helps!