I agree with you completely, Heather, and thank you for your kind words!

This is so true for parents, well in this case – Mothers in particular (I have 3). My absolute no 1 lesson is to prioritise myself first so I can be present and a stable base for my children. That means booking the spa/manicure/walk and have your partner/babysitter watch your kids. When we as mothers take care of ourselves the whole world shifts. It took almost breaking point for me to realise this. Now I prioritise and (value) myself everything in my life has shifted for the positive.
Thank you Janet for the wonderful advice – Mothers have to care for themselves first!!

I clicked on this article very eagerly because my challenging child is six – often i read the articles about toddlers and think yes, ok, i am comfortable letting a 2-year-old express himself however he sees fit, but in an older child I want to start seeing more considerateness and more self control. I am hoping you will write lots more about how the principles of respectful leadership can transfer to our school aged children!

I love this article but I struggle with the language around responding to my 5.5 year olds request for cuddling and being close. Saying “I hear you, but not right now” feels like I’m not giving her enough of a response. She often wants to cuddle, wants to be skin to skin, wants to get back under the covers, and seems almost desperate, at times when I’m not up for it. It’s also triggering. It’s so hard knowing what to say without feeling like I’m going to hurt her. For example, what about when she asks me why? I’m having trouble with that as well as figuring out what her needs are that I’m possibly not meeting. Thank you in advance.

The questions about play resonated with me. I have a 7 year old and as she’s gotten older I’ve struggled with play a bit. My own mother never played with me. As in never, I really have no memories of her sitting down with me to play. And it bothers me… so I make sure to set aside some time to play with my child most days. Now that she is older it is sometimes cards, or another game, or even make believe with her toys. I try to do it in an authentic way and follow her lead and most of the time I do really enjoy the time, and she picks up on that. I also try to just be playful with her, even if we are just cooking dinner together or doing something outside. We both also enjoy making things or painting and we do that together too- so maybe find things that you both can enjoy?
The interesting thing is my own mother and I still don’t have that fun, thoughtful, and playful relationship that I would love to have with her as an adult. I can watch my mother now, through different lenses, as she doesn’t know how to play or really engage with her grand kids, and then it makes her sad she doensn’t have a relationship with them. Not saying it’s the same thing as Siobhan- but that I understand where you are coming from!

I too would love to know this. I’ve always found it so hard to play with kids. It feels inauthentic to even try, and yet I play a part almost daily when I go to work in the hospitality industry. I don’t know how to reconcile this in order to be able to try and move past it, and I also feel guilty not really being able to fulfil her need, unless it’s something I also enjoy. I’m always wondering if that fair or not.