I was drawn to this podcast because I feel like my 3yo has no emotional resilience, but that it’s because I possibly validate her emotions too much! Is that possible? My girl will force a cry out for SO long when something doesn’t go her way, even small things like someone being on her favourite swing at the playground. I feel like when I acknowledge what her problem may be or what she might be feeling it just reminds her why she’s upset so she cries harder and longer. It’s almost like she likes to indulge in the negative emotion, sort of like how you listen to sad songs when you’re feeling sad instead of happy songs. I have also tried ignoring it and also semi-scolding her (“you need to stop crying now, that’s enough”) but every approach seems inflammatory. She does have a ‘cry baby’ personality (i.e. very sensitive, very dramatic, which is good in lots of other ways) but how do I teach her resilience to these small things?

I felt conflicted about the soothing part, where Susan said she felt terrible for telling baby everything was OK. I mean, what’s wrong in telling babies everything is OK? Is t there an aknowledgement that something was the matter but the parent was there to comfort. I’m confused. What should she have done otherwise?

Susan said ” Guilt is when you’re saying to your child, This behavior is wrong. This thing that you did is unacceptable. Guilt, it’s targeted at a very specific behavior and it’s something that the child can choose then not to do again.”
But perhaps they can’t choose not to do it again because it is an impulse that they have. And they may find themselves doing it again. And in this case guilt can become shame? I don’t know. I just hoped for a longer conversation about this topic.