Comments on: It Will Get Easier – The Intense Struggles of a Parent with Childhood Trauma

By: janet

janet — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 02:58:46 +0000

In reply to Jane. I love this a thousand times, Jane. Thank you!

By: Jane

Jane — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 02:29:27 +0000

This episode has completely transformed my relationship with Janet’s work. I had been avoiding listening or reading it for months at a time because I felt like a failure with it and it was beyond my reach, inaccessible. I knew it would work, did work, but also it felt it brought up too much anger and controlling tendencies in me. I knew this was because of my trauma. However, since l tearfully listened to this podcast and did some emotional processing, I have started listening and reading so much more! It’s been amazing. I understand it so much better and I can apply it way more easily now. Hearing your journey Alwyn and Janet’s response, has just shifted things so quickly and dramatically for me. I hear the work differently, I’m more open to it and I feel myself becoming passionate about it. Thanks so much.
Feel so much more empowered as a parent, he is more relaxed already…before I was often falling into taking it personally and getting triggered, almost like I had to suffer through the negative behaviour and try and implement Janet’s methods in a religious, robotic kind of way. With an intense, controlling energy, ironically because I was trying to retain a calm exterior and do a good job.
This is maybe 4-5 days later. I have a feeling this change is going to last.
Thank you both.

By: Steve

Steve — Mon, 14 Feb 2022 05:15:04 +0000

Wow this is my story as well. I’ve been working through recently uncovered memories of childhood trauma and abuse that were repressed for over 40 years. And my son lately has been triggering me like no other. This conversation helps me by but feeling so alone and having a bit of self-compassion, because I’ve been feeling so guilty and ashamed of my parenting lately. I’m really doing my best to survive in some ways and my son isn’t getting my best right now. I’m working so hard in my healing journey and I’ll give myself some credit for the hard work and the progress I’ve made. Thanks you!

By: AO

AO — Sun, 23 Jan 2022 20:17:00 +0000

I am also a younger childless person listening to these podcasts. I found you Janet through Magda’s work. I recently completed the Nurturing Nanny course. I love using RIE while caring for infants though I find the practice applys to all relationships.

The rawness of this conversation, as others expressed, brought tears to my eyes. I appreciated Alwynn’s willingness to share so openly about her struggles. There can be so much resistance to looking at our pain and trauma. This perspective, that we’re all going through it, and that the children are growing and developing their own resilience from witnessing our transformation is helpful. I struggle to know how to include my big emotions, though I want to welcome children’s. I love that Janet is one of Alwynn’s imaginary mom’s:).

Thank you both for starting this conversation on such a challenging and taboo subject.

By: Ana

Ana — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 20:49:24 +0000

Wow! I never write a response to anything I read or listen on internet but this podcast made me cry and it is not easy to make me cry. I consider myself very strong mother that was raised in Russia and “overcame” my childhood trauma with playing volleyball for many years. I wanted to be the best player which I’ve accomplished. I wanted to be the best mother to my children and give them freedom to feel and make decisions and not being afraid of speaking up. But I had no idea what happens to you when you let them do it. So much anger comes up and you can’t control. I kept asking myself “How is it possible that you were able to play a professional volleyball, move to another country and receive a college degree in another language but you are not able to go through a 2 years old innocent child’s big feelings!!! Parenthood is a rollercoaster. Just enjoy ups and downs every day. Thank you for such a beautiful podcast!!!

By: Elodie

Elodie — Sun, 02 Jan 2022 16:31:43 +0000

Thank you Alwyn and Janet for this very hard but amazing discussion. It took me weeks to have the courage to listen to it and weeks again to read the transcript. I’m going to save this post and try to read it every now and then.
When I became a mother, I discovered Faber & Mazlish, later you and many more and I realised that I had no idea how to be the mother I wanted to be. I grew up in France in the 80s and parenting was very authoritarian (to some extent still is), even if my mum was influenced by the works of Francoise Dolto. None of my family can say thank you, sorry, I love you, I feel you and I felt that my parents weren’t going to be a role model for me. But most importantly, I now start to understand that my diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder at age 38 and my traumatic experience of sexual abuse between the age 5 and 9 by a female cousin greatly affected my way of parenting. One quote of Alwyn completely broke me: “I had a little child in me who felt so unsafe and felt so unheard and unseen that my children triggered me constantly, they were mirrors for all of the deep pain and sadness I felt inside. And they just really wanted me to love myself as much as they loved me, but I couldn’t love me. So I got so angry about that and I was aggressive and I was lashing out at them.” I never looked at my emotional dysregulation through that lense and I am grateful for your words on my healing and parenting journey.
I would like to finish on a positive note. Things have improved over the last couple of years for me. After years of medical errance, I got diagnoses (ASD but also narcolepsy, hEDS, MCAS), I started a trauma therapy and it’s all been liberating and this feeling definitely has a positive effect on my parenting.
I am so grateful for you both sharing all those words and feelings that I too have felt. Thank you for this episode.

By: Alwynn Hynes

Alwynn Hynes — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 13:04:28 +0000

In reply to Katie. It takes great courage Katie to hold that responsibility in motherhood. So much more comfortable to focus on our children but iv really found that nearly every single time it all came back to my nervous system, my trauma, my triggers. My son was simply my mirror. Just incase you wanted to join the group I created following this podcast here is the link a safe space for moms healing through trauma while trying to parent xx https://www.facebook.com/groups/240176394654962/?ref=share

By: Alwynn Hynes

Alwynn Hynes — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 13:01:06 +0000

In reply to Holly. Holly, I'm so grateful you were able to find this podcast and know you are not alone. It has been the most difficult Journey but also the most rewarding. If you want to join the group I created following this podcast here is the link a safe space for moms healing through trauma while trying to parent xx https://www.facebook.com/groups/240176394654962/?ref=share

By: Alwynn Hynes

Alwynn Hynes — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 12:59:53 +0000

In reply to Katie. Katie. If you want to join the group I created following this podcast here is the link a safe space for moms healing through trauma while trying to parent xx https://www.facebook.com/groups/240176394654962/?ref=share

By: Alwynn Hynes

Alwynn Hynes — Wed, 01 Dec 2021 12:57:54 +0000

In reply to Izzy Budd.

Hi Izzy. Wow, your husband sounds amazing, as do you. There are some inner child coaches. One I know of who is incredible. Iv referenced him in the group I created following this podcast so please feel free to join. I hope beyond hope your husband finds his light. Because I know so deeply that feeling of feeling so inadequate. All my love. Alwynn

https://www.facebook.com/groups/240176394654962/?ref=share