Comments on: 3 Stories That Could Change the Way You Parent

By: Nicky

Nicky — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 11:18:18 +0000

Hey Janet and everyone,
Thanks for sharing your stories. My five-year-old is having a hard time, she cries almost every night before going to bed and we let her cry. She has been through a lot as this pandemic had her school make huge adjustments; classes were mixed up, teachers were changed, parents cannot enter the school building anymore etc. She is a very sensible kid. I also have family living abroad that she sees less than before and usually struggles when we get back ‘home’. We let her express her emotions, hugging her and consoling her and letting her get it out. But now we have noticed it has become an integrated part of our evening ritual and has somehow become disturbing and it is not nice to see your kid go to bed in tears every night, what can we do?

By: Kallie

Kallie — Wed, 09 Sep 2020 16:32:03 +0000

In reply to Beth. It made me cry!!

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 27 Mar 2019 01:53:00 +0000

That last story was so beautiful!

By: Rhiannon

Rhiannon — Fri, 15 Jan 2016 22:49:25 +0000

In reply to Katie.

Hi Katie! Unfortunately you cant avoid a situation like this affecting your son. Life will throw difficulties at us all. I think the best way to help him is to make sure he knows his feeling are allowed, that he can tell you if he is angry about this or sad or scared, and that you wont try to stop him feeling this way but you will be there to listen to him and reassure him that he will always have you emotionally available to him. You cant stop him from feeling those feelings, but it wont “damage” him to feel them as long as he has your support. If there are loud arguments happening i would try as hard as you can to avoid it in front of him, but this isnt always possible so perhaps if there is an incident one day try to bring it up with your son later, talk through it. “did you hear us shouting earlier?” “did it bother you?” “how did it make you feel?” “im sorry about it, we shouldn’t have lost our tempers like that, im sure there was a better way for us to talk to each other. Its hard to stay calm when you’re angry. It can be scary when people get loud, we didn’t mean to scare you.” I dont know, that sort of thing…whatever feels like the answers to his concerns he brings up. I wouldn’t try to pass it off as nothing OR convey too much worry over it. Balance is best. The important thing is to keep your communication open with him, let him know he can tell you anything and you wont judge or try to change his feelings, so that if he does pick up any damaging thoughts over it all then you will become aware of them quickly and can step in. I’m not an expert at all i just felt your question needed an answer from someone! I hope my advice is helpful x

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 02:16:13 +0000

My husband and I are going through an extremely difficult time in our relationship. I’m worried about the effect this has on our three and a half year old son. I’ve told him that it’s not his fault and that we both love him very much, but I’m very worried that we’re going to damage him emotionally.

By: Charisse

Charisse — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 08:37:19 +0000

I so happy I found this blog as the values expressed here validate my own thoughts of children. So many people see them as an inconvenience and as “just babies being manipulative”. Thank you for sharing these real life examples of RIE working at its best.

By: janet

janet — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 19:38:28 +0000

In reply to Sherra. You're welcome, Sherra! Yes, aren't they wonderful?!

By: Sherra

Sherra — Wed, 15 Jan 2014 14:23:47 +0000

Thank you Janet and the other 3 who contributited to make a wonderful article reminding me to let my kids try, do and express themselves to the fullest!

By: janet

janet — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:30:26 +0000

In reply to JCS. Thank you, JCS. And I can't thank these three moms enough for sharing with me!

By: janet

janet — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 21:29:32 +0000

In reply to Nicole. Yes, Nicole, exactly! It only takes a moment to move a beyond reflex and into mindfulness..