Comments on: 7 Parenting Secrets That Change Lives

By: Aeliya mirza

Aeliya mirza — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 19:39:56 +0000

Hi Kim…
Is there any way I can contact you…. wanted your opinion on my 3.5 year old son’s language development….

By: Susie

Susie — Sun, 08 Aug 2021 16:18:23 +0000

In reply to Sophia. I agree with this writer. Early intervention pays off. Your child’s brain is developing tremendously in these months. Why wait?

By: Claire

Claire — Sun, 22 Mar 2020 09:18:11 +0000

Hi Janet,
On boundary setting I’m feeling unsure about how to follow through with them. For example, when my toddler starts to hit me and I say “I won’t let you do that” and catch his hands, he then might start kicking me, so I release my hands to grab his feet and he picks up a toy and throws it at my head. In this moment I’m unsure what my reaction should be. My parents and siblings are horrified that I don’t smack him or put him in a “naughty corner” at this point. I’ve never done this and don’t imagine that’s a positive solution but I’m unclear as to how to hold these boundaries in a practical sense. What should my reaction be if he continue to kick, head butt, throw toys and lash out? Im heavily pregnant and I’m worried he will hurt the baby.
P.S I have to say that this aggressive behaviour is quite common and can seem quite out of the blue and when he’s in a good mood- i.e. not just if he’s tired or overwhelmed etc. I’m thinking it’s more my inconsistent reaction that’s the problem?
Thankyou 🙂

By: Abby

Abby — Sun, 04 Dec 2016 15:28:53 +0000

Great article, thank you! What would you say about a homeschooling group environment my daughter and I have become a part of that has a family with some behavioral issues it seems (including the parent, an extreme type A bully!) that I do not have the skills or confidence to deal with properly (I have some ACoA issues of my own & am struggling in my own life to become a confident pack leader as opposed to unsure or overreactive)? For instance: I try to leave to my car and shut the front door, the oldest girl (who is “gifted” and also has extreme severe screaming tantrums) blocks the door with her body and is STONGER than me pushing the door against me!!! After having no luck with her I had to just tell her mother, and felt I completely failed as an “adult in charge”….I’m especially upset when their mother snaps yells and smacks her kids to discipline IN FRONT of all of us and our small children (13 kids, newborn to five yrs.) and I do not condone hitting, yet always apologizes to us for their behavior or the way she parents, like sorry if you all don’t agree with how i punish my children (of course my insides just crumble with ptsd from childhood when these extreme or dramatic scenes play out, which I understand is not the normal response but these triggers are still holding me back, as I’m still in recovery)…hence my questions: How do you handle other people’s children when they are affecting you and your children, as I’ve recently heard my daughter adopt this girl’s tone when crying, and is starting to mimic some of the ways she speaks, talks back to her mother and siblings treating them with SO MUCH disrespect & violence, meanwhile I am actually fearful of taking my kids there regularly because I don’t want to continue to expose them to bad behavior, negative punishing, or even seeing me be bullied by their little tantrum friend!! Am I seriously afraid of a four or five year old?!? Something’s not right here!
Thank you!!
Abby

By: Alejandra

Alejandra — Sun, 04 Dec 2016 06:36:40 +0000

Janet, I’m also very grateful for your writing! It has also impacted very much my family life. I’m lucky I started reading your blog when my daughter was 1yo, she is almost 3 and has been an easy ride for us! She is very cooperate, happy, respected child; she don’t know about time outs, punishments or rewards; yet, she is obedient and confident. Thank you so much for what you do!

By: janet

janet — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 14:40:21 +0000

In reply to Louisa Lim.

Hi Louisa – When we speak in the third person we are not really connecting person-to-person with our child. It’s a little more disconnected and less effective than using “you” and “I”. And children definitely know who Mommy and Daddy are, so we don’t need to keep reminding them. 🙂 I share more about our language choices in this post: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/06/ten-best-ways-to-encourage-toddlers-to-talk/

By: Louisa Lim

Louisa Lim — Tue, 22 Mar 2016 09:14:16 +0000

Hi, may i know what is wrong with saying “mama”, speaking in the third person?

By: Dara

Dara — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 14:00:08 +0000

I felt I want to cry for a while. So simple, so touching…we are not there as bottom, but I will follow your advices and I believe soon we will have the result… Thank you for posting and helping with sooo undeestandable and practical advices and examples!:))

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sun, 14 Dec 2014 02:41:39 +0000

We are going through months of this my son is 17 months & since 8 months he’s been biting, hitting, screaming and nothing we do it working. He does not play with toys & tv does not even get his attention music & books work for a few seconds. He’s so very smart well developed etc. everyone keeps saying he’s to little he will out grow this but we have been crying for weeks & my other kids 11 has to stay upstairs cause he bites a lot & my 3 month old is always gated off where he can’t get her. We r struggling & it’s tearing apart my family. He can b do sweet & loving. But anytime he does not get exactly what he wants & when he wants it look out cause the entire day is done. I feel he is struggling cause he is frustrated & he runs around & climbs from the time he’s awake until he goes to bed he is so over active. We r struggling & need help. The dr says he’s just a very demanding high needs child but that’s not helping us redirect his anger or frustration. I feel people think we walk around our home hitting & biting each other but I promise u that’s not the case. I would love any info, help, advise cause We all love him & enjoy playing with him

By: Ruth Mason

Ruth Mason — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 15:45:25 +0000

Wow!