Comments on: Baby Teamwork (Sharing Because They Want To)

By: Ruth

Ruth — Tue, 12 Mar 2019 02:47:50 +0000

What do I do ina situation where the object is meant to be shared, for example a slide, or a water table. My daughter who is 18 mo gets upset whenever someone is behind her on a slide (this is a small age appropriate slide) or even just lining up behind her, or when they start playing with her water table when she’s also playing with it. She is known to push so I always intervene at that point (which works like a charm to just tell her that I won’t let her do that) but then she still whines and gets upset and stops in her tracks (which gets awkward when she’s on a slide and others are waiting). How can I help her get past this without forcing her to “share”?

By: Gina Brodtmann

Gina Brodtmann — Fri, 03 Aug 2018 20:53:25 +0000

Janet, I love the quote you put at the end of this article. The one by Ripaldi. I can’t find any info on who this person is. Can you point me in the right direction? I’d love to learn more. Thanks for all you do!

By: Tej

Tej — Wed, 25 Feb 2015 06:18:00 +0000

A very beautiful article and we have applied it many times. But, it will be interesting to know your advice on this.I recently had an experience when the mother of the kid intervened only when her daughter was in tears while playing and did not want to share and conveniently ignore when it was the other way. I was amazed at how silent and cold she became when the other kid cried. I did not know how to handle the situation and was forced to drag my kid away from that place. I did not feel good but I could not possibly reason out with her!

By: Ruth Mason

Ruth Mason — Fri, 26 Sep 2014 12:50:42 +0000

Thank you, Janet! Love this. Last week, for the first time, two one-year-olds in our parent-infant class handed a toy back and forth to each other about 7-8 times. By the time I grabbed my phone to tape it, they were on to each laying with their own toys but right across from each other. I’m finding that even though we have a big play space the babies will find each other many times during the hour we’re together and watch each other, touch each other or play next to one another. Years ago, inspired by my daughter’s interactions with another baby who was clearly a “friend,” I wrote an article in Parents Magazine called First Friends reprinted here http://www.wholefamily.com/parent-center/friendships/first-friends-2 in which I reported on the fact that as opposed to what the experts were saying, babies can become “friends” (if we widen the concept) with other babies. Ilana and Matthew went on to become fast friends as toddlers and young children.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Wed, 24 Sep 2014 02:04:12 +0000

I use this exact video when teaching concepts about effective observation skills and child development. It’s fabulous when trying to teach principals of ELF/ELECT that we are using in child cares in Ontario, CANADA

By: Sooz

Sooz — Wed, 24 Sep 2014 01:23:17 +0000

Just joining in RIE. I care for two girls, ages 1& 2. Would love to be included

By: Simone

Simone — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 09:03:08 +0000

At my son’s one year old ‘party’ (one friend and her parents!) we left him and his friend to play as they pleased while we chatted around the table. I had to hold back my laughter and delight when they clearly had some chatter happening, then to my surprise his friend (they are two very different children) squealed and threw a toy infront of him… he ignored it the first time. Then she did it again and he grabbed her nappy and turned her around to face the other way! It felt like he was mimicking us when he bites or grabs us or the cats? I usually say “no” and remove him gently. She was pretty unbothered about it thankfully. It is possibly a personality thing, but her father and carer (never seen her mum do this) often force her to do things like hug, drink water etc and I wonder if her frustrated behavior is due to this? My babe just hasn’t got into throwing anything yet, he will place it down or behind him… or just drop it off his high chair. Often he holds food out he does not want to put it back in my hand or on the plate. I did come across your site later than I would have liked but its still been awesome, my biggest problem is other parents in play groups being all funny about kids grabbing each other toys! If i get an opening I might mention we could leave them to it and only intervene when there is clearly some tears or over tired bubbas…

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 14:05:19 +0000

I really like the video link of the 2 younger babies. Before I discovered your site, and philosophies, I would’ve thought of that as the blond baby “taking” the other baby’s toy. Most parents would step in and say, “No, no, give that back to her,” instead of just letting them play together and work it out themselves. I can’t wait to try some of the RIE principles with my next baby. Knowing what I know now, I feel that I have created some of my child’s tendencies and insecurities.

By: Jody

Jody — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 18:59:27 +0000

Hi!

I love your post and have a related question for you. My daughter has had playdates with a group of other similar age children since they were about 3 weeks old. Needless to say, they know each other quite well! Play has evolved quite a bit since we started. Some of the kids are a bit more aggressive than my daughter. When something is taken from her mid play or when she feels that someone will take the object that she is playing with. She automatically breaks into tears. To this point, I have been explaining to her that I know that she wants to play with the toy and now so and so has it and is going to play with it. Any other suggestions on how I should handle these situations?

By: Maya

Maya — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 06:27:29 +0000

So beautiful! (And now I have to keep my eyes out for a good tower stacking toy for my daughter– such experimentation and coordination! Have you ever done a post about toys you recommend?)

This post makes me think about an interaction my 11-mos-old daughter recently had with her 23-mos-old cousin. Her cousin is very much in a “MINE!” stage, so literally any time my daughter starts to play with anything, her cousin immediately tries to take it away. My daughter N. started to play with some coasters, cousin Y. swooped in shouting “it’s mine! It’s mine!” I said to cousin, “Y., N. doesn’t know how to play with these coasters, can you show her how?” (Ok, I don’t really believe that you need to “know” how to play with something… but I was speaking a language to the cousin that my daughter doesn’t understand yet, so I don’t think I was sending any messages that were too destructive.) Y. paused, looked at N., then modeled nibbling on the coaster. I said to my daughter (still in Y’s language, since I was actually saying it for Y’s benefit), “OH! See? Look at what Y’s doing! That’s how you play with these!” They played together happily for a bit, and Y. let my daughter keep the coasters. At the time, I felt like that was a good way to gently change the dynamic between them from competitive to cooperative, though as I type this out I wonder if I was being deceptive with Y. and interfering too much. What do you think?

(Later that evening Y. tried to help N. by bringing her to me, first by attempting to lift up my 28-lb baby by the armpits and then by the hair, but that’s another story!)