Comments on: Don’t Fix These Toddler Struggles

By: Brenda

Brenda — Thu, 14 Jul 2022 06:24:26 +0000

I have a three year old that almost every night fights for ‘something’ in her dreams and has severe tantrums with an unknown background. I don’t know what to do. Ate tantrums while sleeping normal? She really struggles and I try to hug her or pat her, but she is so in her dream that I have to wait until the meltdown ceases. She screams awful, kicks, shouts like uncontrollable anger. My husband and I have been very patient, lovable and understanding parents, but this happening almost every single night gets out of our hands and it’s starting to affect our sleep, since after the tantrum we are eye opened like owls and having a bad time trying to sleep again. She does go back to sleep after the tantrum which would generally take less than five minutes but it feels like an eternity tu us. At day we do gentle parenting and has absolutely worked for us. What can we do?

By: Jessica Felix

Jessica Felix — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 19:26:26 +0000

I wish this video was still up! I use this one all the time to show toddler teachers an example of allowing struggle and conflict while supporting young children with our presence and our words. I went to show it recently and couldn’t find it on your youtube channel. Just saw that it’s been taken down. Is there a way to get it back up again or move it to a different service? Thank you!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 27 Jan 2021 06:58:07 +0000

In reply to Kay. I e loved this video for YEARS and have used it many times with toddler caregivers (I’m a coach). I’m so sad to see it’s been taken down. I hope it’s back soon!

By: Pixie

Pixie — Sun, 10 Dec 2017 10:59:09 +0000

In reply to Nev.

Oh thank god!!

Someone who shares my feelings / experiences!

The hardest thing about RIE , is OTHER PARENTS. In the home , or out and about with chill, relaxed and or even older generation, people are fine… even if it’s not their cup of tea, they get it.

But to be fair, most people in my area judge me / us, and when I sportscast at the local playgrounds, so many mothers think I’m nuts.
Respectful parenting is hard around a lot of the general public. Even my parents, who are traditional Greek and the epitome of distraction hurting, they get RIE. Well , maybe not my dad 100%, but they get the point.

It was nice to hear from someone else who struggles… what a relief! Thanks for sharing

By: janet

janet — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 23:18:26 +0000

In reply to Rania.

Hi Rania – How do you generally respond in these cases? “Crying to me” generally indicates that you try to fix these situations, which can actually make it much harder for them to get along. The older child tends to feel you are against her and takes those feelings out on her sibling. The younger child feels helpless and dependent on you to help handle his sister.

By: Rania

Rania — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:29:30 +0000

Hey Janet. I’m trying to fully understand your principles in order to apply them. My kids (5 and 3) are always on a power challenge that all the time ends with her (5 yrs) being quicker, stronger, etc than him (3 yrs). She takes his thgs depending on her tools of age and length even. And he always comes crying to me! Isnt that sort of asking for help?

By: Marty Dutcher

Marty Dutcher — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 17:35:37 +0000

Janet, great post, and I have really like others of yours as well. Thanks for being such an advocate for and contributor to children and parents (and parent educators, too).

By: Selena Irving

Selena Irving — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 08:49:00 +0000

This is very timely for me as I have a big 11 month old baby who goes straight up to other wee ones and more often than not they end up crying sometimes just from this bigger bubba coming over. And of course he reaches out to touch eyes and hair sometimes grabbing hard. I have been quick to jump in and pull him away not wanting him to hurt others but I have wondered what message I am already giving him. I dont want to squash his going happily up to others but nor do I want them to be hurt.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 17 Dec 2014 00:52:36 +0000

Hiya do you use the same principles for 3 year olds, or do you have different expectations for them to interact socially by then?

By: kaitlin

kaitlin — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 14:43:09 +0000

But what if your child is a biter?? I often intervene when I can see what is about to happen because if I don’t…someone will get bitten. I’ve tried to just let them work it out…up to that point. But I always need to be vigilant.