Comments on: Would You Pick Up This Crying Baby?

By: Erin

Erin — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 16:32:32 +0000

I fear we have created what we call “pick-me-up-itis”! He comes over a lot with arms up and crying. I try to stave off from the pick up and get to his level asking what he needs and he gestures with his whole body “pick me up!” How can we get him to be ok with not being held all the time? He is 16 months old and has been walk since he was 11 months. He has a brother who is 3.5 years old and often wants to follow him around. Any suggestions would be great as I’m getting tennis elbow from holding him all the time!

By: janet

janet — Sun, 24 Feb 2019 19:12:21 +0000

In reply to Gazelle Llaguno. Yes to all that. Thank you for commenting, Gazelle!

By: Gazelle Llaguno

Gazelle Llaguno — Sun, 24 Feb 2019 18:35:24 +0000

I find the video fascinating and very impressed by the communication between the baby and the mother had been apparent and well understood. I just learned from watching this video that it was not a good idea to deprive them of expressing their real intentions of crying, they have their way of letting a mother know if they need to be picked up or just afraid from something new to their sight. Now I understand that everything is so wrong not learning how to read the babies inner message that we adult do not see it right away.

By: Merle

Merle — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 16:21:31 +0000

I’d be curious if any of these parents have experienced colic? Or had an infant that cried pretty much 24/7. I still have PTSD from my first and now my second is the same. I’ll do anything not to hear that crying. I get anxious, tense, unable to function, when my baby cries inconsolably. I want to fix it. When she’s seemingly uncomfortable in her own skin, I need to help her.

By: Cecilia

Cecilia — Sun, 27 Oct 2013 02:04:59 +0000

Love the video! He seems to calmed down by simply being heard. I’m curios of what you would do if an older baby starts to cry when in his/her safe space? I work from home and I usually do it in the dinning room table while my daughter’s safe space in the living room and lately after a few minutes of independent play she starts to cry pulled up to the play pen. She is 12 months and has all the living room to play and explore but she won’t calm down until I go and sit by her (sometimes she plays very close to me and other she continues to play around). I usually do this when I can but sometimes I need to keep working and I feel bad when she continues to cry after I acknowledge her feelings. Any advice in this situation? Really appreciate it 🙂

By: debbym11

debbym11 — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 23:02:10 +0000

I love your blog! So brilliant! A distinction that occurs to me to Alex’s comment is that the baby’s quest is to dominate HIS/HER world. Not anybody else’s. That’s why it’s so important for them be allowed to find the strength and ability within themselves to achieve and accomplish. The role of the parent, both challenging and most interesting, is to support him in his quest for being the powerful creator of his life. This includess allowing and honoring his expression, the freedom to reach for his desires and explore his safe world, and to accomplish and discover based on his own efforts. This keeps children from growing to depend on people to get what they want, while showing them (because it is modeled) how to love, respect, value, and interact with others, while being true to themselves. What is appropriate keeps changing as a child grows, which keeps it interesting for everybody! : )

By: debbym11

debbym11 — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 22:50:55 +0000

In reply to Alex | Perfecting Dad. I think an important distinction here is that the baby's quest is to dominate HIS/HER world. Not anybody else's. That's why it's so important for them be allowed to find the strength and ability within themselves to achieve and accomplish. The role of the parent, both challenging and most interesting, is to support him in his quest for being the powerful creator of his life. This includess allowing and honoring his expression, the freedom to reach for his desires and explore his safe world, and to accomplish and discover based on his own efforts. This keeps children from growing to depend on people to get what they want, while showing them (because it is modeled) how to love, respect, value, and interact with others, while being true to themselves. What is appropriate keeps changing as a child grows, keeping it interesting for everybody! : )

By: Nathaly

Nathaly — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 09:42:46 +0000

That baby is soooo cute. Want to eat him 🙂

By: Claire

Claire — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 01:48:32 +0000

I find this fascinating. All my instincts tell me to reassure and comfort and jump in and help. I am trying very hard to stand back, observe, listen……its so hard sometimes but I tell myself i am building my childrens’ confidence levels and their capacity to cope. I can’t be there every moment of the day and need to know they can deal with minor conflict or anxiety without me.
My middle child is 4yrs old and is extremely sensitive to everything, he is clingy and doesnt like strangers or large groups of people. At 6 months he cried at social gatherings and needed to be held. At 4 things have improved and he has adapted to school but does cry easily. I was reading a book called The Highly Sensitive Child – where they recommend giving your child all the reassurance they need, not overstimulating them with too many after school play dates, giving them quiet time, but also encouraging them to push their boundaries in a safe way (eg playdate with a friend and younger brother with similar temperaments, taking him to parties but allowing him to stand back and not participate, play sport and activities where they are alongside others not head on or contact). This works for him but I am struggling to walk the fine balance between providing a safe haven and pushing him (which can result in extreme distress and set backs). This seems a genetic trait which my inlaws have and they dont worry about it – but they dont want to do fun stuff like fireworks or disneyland. I am hoping that by having a mother who is sensitive but more extroverted, that i can gently coax him out of his shell!

By: janet

janet — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 19:31:54 +0000

In reply to Miven Trageser. "...parents' own anxiety and desire for action causes a reflexive intrusiveness that costs babies their sense of self before it even fully develops." Wow, well said, Miven. Thank you for this insight and your corroboration.