Comments on: Sibling Strife – When Your Child Keeps Hating On Her Little Brother

By: Donna

Donna — Fri, 05 Apr 2024 03:12:09 +0000

In reply to Bionca. Can’t let her “take care of them.” She will HURT. them !

By: Bionca

Bionca — Fri, 17 Nov 2023 03:06:14 +0000

In reply to KMP. Hi I'm a former teen and you can resolve this promblem by asking her to take care of them for 5-6 min. But for a better result you can ask her to take her emotions out by punching of screming at a pillow (that's what I used to do) I hope this helps!

By: Erin Lowrey

Erin Lowrey — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 06:02:00 +0000

In reply to KMP. I would also like to know this.

By: KMP

KMP — Sun, 24 Apr 2022 07:14:24 +0000

Hi Janet, could you please go into more detail about how to ‘block’ the verbal behaviour? I have a 4 yo, 2 yo and 6 month old. The 4 yo is adjusting to the 6 mo by taking out her feelings on the 2 yo. I can block the physical behaviour well enough, but the verbal – I’m at a loss.

My 4 yo will have a meltdown and the majority will be directed at my 2 yo (I hate her, go away, I want her to live in a cage, etc). I can’t take my 4 yo into another room and hold space for the feelings because I can’t leave the younger two alone. I can sit with her while we’re all together and say “I won’t let you say those things” etc but that doesn’t actually stop her. I’m calm, I know confident momentum, I’m ready to ‘block’ but HOW do I actually do it? How do I turn theory into practise in this instance?

How do I both allow the 4 yo to express herself, but not have my 2 yo (who talks and understands everything) hearing all of that?

Thanks

By: Lauren

Lauren — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 23:28:58 +0000

It’s so hard to to stay empathetic when one of my kids is hurting the other, especially when the younger one couldn’t get defend himself. I feel like I was so much better at responding empathetically before I had my second child. Even through intellectually I know the older one cannot control it (she has SPD and ADHD) it’s hard to see my younger one screaming in pain or screaming at her to stop. It’s gotten to the point where my younger child cries and fights against picking up his sister from school every single day because “I’m scared of sister. She hurts me.”

By: janet

janet — Sun, 19 Dec 2021 01:38:47 +0000

In reply to p. Why do you suppose your sister harbored those feelings and did those things? It sounds to me like she had scary feelings that she needed to share but weren't accepted by her parents.

By: p

Sat, 18 Dec 2021 20:26:33 +0000

As a younger child who has an older sister who hated me/still hates me for existing, you’re minimizing the impact it has on the son. That she has fears that need to be acknowledged and reassured, we can all agree with, but letting her abuse him is not the solution. My parents used to think that my sister threatening to break my face was ‘endearing’, and they never ever done anything about her bullying me. They didn’t even notice she raped me. Maybe next time think twice before acting like wanting attention is worse than being abused.

By: Leanne Strong

Leanne Strong — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 16:03:27 +0000

Maybe it will help if your daughter feels like her brother does not get to call all of the shots in the household, and that she still has some say in the decisions. If your son always fussed every time you guys go into a favorite restaurant, maybe instead of deciding to stop going altogether, she can go with just you, or just your partner (if applicable), or another family member, such as grandma, aunt or uncle, or her other parent.

By: Yoanna

Yoanna — Fri, 25 Sep 2020 11:19:58 +0000

Thank you so much, Janet. We had our third child two months ago and siblings conflict has sky-rocketed since then. We also moved house two moths before having the baby. My children are behaving in ways they never did before and stress levels are going through the roof for me and my husband. This episode was such a valuable reminder about slowing down and being perceptive, rather than rushing into fixing. Thank you so much for your work and your help to parents like me 🙂

By: liz

liz — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 09:39:21 +0000

My first was (is) like the older child in this article, becoming disregulated very easily andy crying for hours at a time. It took me 3 years to figure out that he has sensory processing disorder and that occupational therapy can help. Thank you for believing the questioner and noting that the behavior points to something a little outside normal.