https://www.janetlansbury.com/2021/01/how-to-help-your-child-engage-more-successfully-with-peers/ elevating child care Mon, 21 Nov 2022 11:33:12 +0000 hourly 1 https://www.janetlansbury.com/2021/01/how-to-help-your-child-engage-more-successfully-with-peers/comment-page-1/#comment-131748 Thu, 19 May 2022 04:15:28 +0000 https://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=20568#comment-131748 Hi Janet! I’m wondering if the person who you had the consultation with followed up about her son. This episode is really hitting home for me right now with my kiddo and I’m curious how this one unraveled. Hope to hear from you!

]]> https://www.janetlansbury.com/2021/01/how-to-help-your-child-engage-more-successfully-with-peers/comment-page-1/#comment-129897 Sat, 16 Jan 2021 21:01:02 +0000 https://www.janetlansbury.com/?p=20568#comment-129897 Hi Janet,
I am the caregiver to a wonderful nearly 3 year old who exhibits similar child to child behavior as the boy who is the subject of this consultation. I would like to explore further the concept of establishing my personal boundaries as a way to help him work through his feelings when his actions generate a response from other children. When he and I play one on one he often tries to control my behavior by saying for example ‘no don’t put that there’, or will physically push into my personal space and change something I have constructed. As the adult, I don’t mind if I just go along with his flow of play. However, perhaps this as an opportunity to simulate how another child may react to repeated attempts to control. This is in the context of what can be done at home, so not in a social situation with other children present. I’m envisioning: while he and I are playing with trucks, when he says ‘no don’t do that, do this’ my response will be ‘you don’t want me to do that. I hear you, but I want to have my truck go in this direction’ and then I continue to do what I was doing. If he takes something away from me, I sportscast: ‘I was playing with that and you took that from me, that upsets me’. Or ‘I built that tower and you knocked it down, I was still building and now I’m disappointed’. Knowing this child, he will become upset under those scenarios but this is an opportunity to release his feelings. At which time I can say ‘It upsets you when I I don’t play the way you want’, or say ‘it upsets you when I don’t want you to knock down something I was building’. Janet, If you agree with this approach, would you kindly help model what this type of interaction should look like? This child to child interaction has been an issue for a number of months and I’m looking for ways to help him within the warmth and safety of our personal connection. Thank you for your time Janet.

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