I feel your concern and I wish there was a way to advise people who don’t wish to be advised. Unfortunately, it isn’t possible and will only create distance between you. It couuld cause them to tune you out even more. Here’s what I would do: stop talking to them about what they should do and, instead, whenever you have the opportunity, model a different way of responding to your grandson. And when you are caring for your grandson, show him a different way. This will bond you and gift him with a person who fully sees and understands him, which is worth more than gold.

Here’s a podcast I did around this topic of communicating a more respectful approach: https://www.janetlansbury.com/2019/04/5-best-ways-to-communicate-respectful-parenting-to-friends-relatives-and-strangers/

Take care and thank you for reaching out to me.

Warmly,
Janet

My son use a lot of threats and punishment to his little son even though he wasn’t raised that way. When my grandson don’t cooperate in the way my son want him to do the threats come and if the child don’t listen he takes away the favorite toys.

I have tried to send some of your articles but I don’t think they even read them. I have tried to talk to them, but they don’t like to get advice. Last time my grandson had a big tantrum he hit his mum. I tried to talk to my son about why the little one was hitting, that he was hungry and don’t know how to regulate his feelings in a good way, but my son got really pissed at me.

Do you have any suggestion on how to reach my son and daughter in law? I’m really worried about my grandson. They are good parents in many ways but I don’t feel that they understand the reason behind all the tantrums. Often it comes when my grandchild is hungry and tired. They don’t seem to realise that children need food on a regular basis.