Comments on: Stuck in a Pattern of Frustration and Anger

By: Roxanne

Roxanne — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 11:34:48 +0000

Hi! I loved this episode but felt worried about this mama. Some of what she said about feeling angry and crying at the park reminded me of when I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum rage. I just want to encourage moms to get help if these feelings don’t go away medicine and talk therapy were game changers for me.

By: Jen

Jen — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 21:55:18 +0000

I recognise part of why I get so angry and frustrated with my son is my inability to effectively physically intervene to lift, carry, move, block, etc. due to physical disability to help him. He’s only 3 but already stronger and faster than me. What would you suggest in these situations?

By: Jen

Jen — Mon, 10 Apr 2023 21:48:51 +0000

I recognise part of why I get so angry and frustrated with my son is my inability to effectively physically intervene to lift, carry, move, block, etc. due to physical disability too help him. He’s only 3 but already stronger and faster than me. What would you suggest in these situations?

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sun, 10 Jul 2022 02:09:18 +0000

I definitely needed this article today! I also have a question related to the moments immediately after a toddler does something “naughty.” While we try to intervene before it happens, it’s not always possible. (She is a bright, curious, energetic 27 month old.) For example, the other day she took a glass of water and chucked it across the room. She had the full attention of both parents, but she was just so fast. She also likes to rip my husband’s glasses off and throw them, which is extra problematic because he’s blind without them. What do we do when things like that happen? It feels like we’ve tried everything- ignoring the behavior, shouting, explaining why we don’t through things, “chill out” time where we sit with her and try to remove stimulation, and have her help clean up the mess (if it’s a mess).

By: Nadine

Nadine — Sat, 09 Jul 2022 09:30:24 +0000

Hello! We are in a situation where we had twins almost a month before our daughter turned one. They were delivered just over 3 months ago.

One of the biggest issues is sleep for our eldest daughter. It never used to be much of an issue, but now there are inconsolable tantrums most nights. Or she tries to engage with my husband in a play tone of voice (who puts her to bed now as I’m with the twins). He either helps her to sleep, takes her out of bed and let’s her run around, or takes her outside for a walk or to calm down. Before she uses to fall asleep on her own most nights.

What can you recommend so there is not a power struggle?

By: Erin Parkinson

Erin Parkinson — Wed, 19 Dec 2018 03:31:10 +0000

This is a terrific article! Thank you! I resonate with this sweet mom who craves a close relationship with her daughter yet struggles because of her daughter’s challenging behavior.
I have a question regarding this statement that you made: “Our words don’t have that much power with a child that has a reason to want to dig her heels in.” You talk a lot about the need for physically helping our children, and I I completely agree with what you have to say. I have a very strong-willed 5 and 1/2 year old daughter. She is the kind of kid that wants to do the very thing you say she cannot do. My question is this: what is the age at which physical help should be unnecessary? For example, I still physically help my daughter. I might guide her physically. Or, I might do something such as put something out of her reach if I don’t want her to touch it and she insists on touching it. My husband thinks that she should be able to listen the first time and refrain from doing something that he doesn’t want her to do. He will often tell her not to do something, she will of course do that very thing, and then he will want to do something like a time out. I am strongly opposed to timeouts, but my husband insists on using them himself. My approach would be to put the item out-of-reach. If she is grabbing for something, I will move it instead of assuming that she should be able to stop herself. Being that she is very strong-willed, is five and a half years of age a reasonable time when I should expect her to have more self-control?
There was an incident a few months ago when my daughter was trying to carry a tomato cage down the stairs. Long story, we were using it as part of a Halloween costume. Anyway, my husband did not want her to carry it down the stairs because he was afraid she would get hurt. He told her to not even touch the tomato cage while he put on his socks and that after he put on his socks he would help her carry it down. Of course, she is a staring at the kid wantingly, and of course she touches it. So he immediately gave her a timeout. I felt that he was giving her a very unreasonable request. He could have gone downstairs with her and put his socks on downstairs, or he could have put the tomato cage in another location, or done something to help her instead of expecting her to not even touch it. I saw no problem with her just touching it and examining it while he put on his socks, but he gave her a very unreasonable request. So, again, my question is what age should we expect a child to refrain from doing these things on their own?

By: janet

janet — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 13:49:02 +0000

In reply to Laura Bao. Hi Laura! Yay, I'm so glad to be of help!

By: Laura Bao

Laura Bao — Wed, 28 Feb 2018 02:19:56 +0000

Hi Janet,
Thank you so much for this article! I have been going thru a tough time with my 2 year old daughter after weaning her and her limit pushing at brushing teeth, changing clothes, bath time, etc has become a daily cycle and Ive been losing my temper often. These are the exact words I need to hear to get my mental and emotional state back on track. Your blog is a lifesaver for me! Thank you so much!

By: janet

janet — Wed, 31 Jan 2018 03:28:33 +0000

In reply to Julia.

Hi Julia! That sounds hard! Yes, I have post and also a podcast about that. Here’s the post: http://www.janetlansbury.com/2016/07/confident-momentum-how-to-stop-battling-your-toddlers-resistance-and-defiance/ I hope that’s helpful!

By: Julia

Julia — Wed, 31 Jan 2018 02:09:00 +0000

Any suggestions for mom’s of toddlers for whom physically setting limits, like picking the child up, simply isn’t an option in the months after the new baby is born, due to mom’s severe post natal complications?