Comments on: Let Your Kids Be Mad At You

By: LaurenT

LaurenT — Sun, 22 May 2022 05:23:17 +0000

I’m tearing up! Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing. It’s a very insightful story.

By: Dr Hemapriya MBBS,AFIH

Dr Hemapriya MBBS,AFIH — Mon, 11 Oct 2021 06:14:15 +0000

Thank you for sharing your precious memories with us. Yes! sometimes some small things we do can make the kids down. As you said, it’s important to accept their emotions and give them the warmth. Thank you for giving peer support in all possible ways 🙂 Love you.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 16 May 2021 22:31:19 +0000

In reply to janet. How do you fight that impulse? Do you have another article about it? My mom did this too, and I'm recognizing it in myself, with my four year old son, and I hate myself for it.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 01 May 2020 23:55:52 +0000

In reply to Joelle. Oh that is helpful! Right now my four year old son hits my 8 year old daughter.

By: Eva Villarreal

Eva Villarreal — Fri, 01 May 2020 13:10:33 +0000

How brave of you to share the story. It’s one thing to have the feeling but another to delve into your pain at your turning away to find how you could grow from it. Thank you for that lesson as well. One of my favorite trainings to share is, “Ok to be Angry” to help childcare teachers realize that they have a key role in sharing with children their acceptance and helping them to redirect.

By: Maureen Parker

Maureen Parker — Sat, 09 Nov 2019 09:04:09 +0000

My two children are adults with children of their own. I wouldn’t say I was the perfect mother but when my two played up, I sat with them and we had lots of cuddles,and I would tell them a story. Have time for them,shopping,housework etc can wait.

By: mcar

mcar — Sat, 09 Nov 2019 00:14:17 +0000

Even though I am 33 and a mom now, my own mother cannot handle the slightest negativity from me. If I say something as benign as “It was a bit rough with the kids today” she immediately changes the subject or says something dismissive. As a young adult, when I realized my own closed-off-edness, I chalked it up to my moody teenage years and attempted to open up to my mom. I quickly realized the issue is on her end. Thanks for the reminder to keep persisting with my attempts to not pass these patterns on to my own daughter. It’s hard when she’s mad at me to not want to let her be rude or disrespectful, and just accept her anger.

By: Priscilla

Priscilla — Fri, 08 Nov 2019 21:01:24 +0000

I recently had to set a boundary with my mother because one day I heard a comment she made to my son that triggered me and me remember how she used to make me feel when she’d withhold love as a punishment. It has been so hard and hurtful for all of us but I have to break that cycle for my healing and for my kids. It honestly felt so good to hear that even if you have an almost perfect mom they are human.

By: Denise

Denise — Sat, 06 Apr 2019 17:16:04 +0000

My mother shut my emotions down or filtered them through her own my whole life. From a very, very young age she would vividly describe the harm I caused her by my emotions. I once confided in her about being sexually abused by a family member and she confronted the family member during Thanksgiving. I was mortified and it was more traumatizing than the abuse itself. When I asked why she did it, she was disgusted with me for not being thankful that she came to my defense and in the end I was profusely apologizing to her while she cried.

When I became a mother and she would say things about my mothering that cut me to the core, she would again act victimized by my reaction of hurt to what she said to me.

From a young age, I always said I wanted to be accountable to my kids and I want them to know without a doubt that our bond and my love is strong enough to withhold their anger.

It took me years to know when I felt hurt or anger because I was so conditioned to repress it. It led to many horrible relationships and friendships.

This does sound like a significantly painful thing to have gone through, Janet. I hope your work crusading to get children’s emotions accepted is healing to you.

By: Suzann

Suzann — Mon, 14 May 2018 01:32:43 +0000

Good point. I don’t want to punish my son for being mad or having feelings either. Whether toward me or not. Glad I read this.