Hi Meagan,
When he finally does sleep, how does he sleep? I ask because my daughter was a nightmare to put down for bed and naps; it would take 1-2 hours for each and every attempt to get her down. No nighttime routine helped and everyone assumed it was some vibe we were giving off. Rocking was the only thing that would cut the routine time down from 2 hrs to 1 hr. The kid woke up every 30-90 min for years. I was beyond exhausted. At 3, the doctor finally took me seriously and gave me what I had been asking for for months- a referral to a pediatric ENT.

Turns out my kid had two types of sleep apnea. Her body was telling her it was unsafe to go to sleep because she may not wake up. Kid had surgery and she was a different child two months later. She still has slight breathing issues, but nothing like before.

After getting her diagnosed it was quite clear that I had apnea as a kid before I got my sinuses corrected. (Perhaps this was/is also at the base of your sleep issues.) Last December my 3 yr old broke my nose with his skull while attempting to give me a kiss in the dark at bedtime (yes, quite painful). I was thrown back into not being able to breathe properly at night and I felt awful.

You are doing everything right. Maybe it’s him.

Hi Meagan. Just thought I’d share because I too had sleep issues with my daughter at this age (and still struggle on occasion) and I realized it was mostly my own experiences around sleep as a child. You mentioned you had some past issues with it yourself so thought I’d share. Since then I have noticed many things that trigger me and it’s always around things my parents couldn’t handle with me. No fault to them, I think these negative concepts are passed down unconsciously unless we break the cycle. I did a lot of journaling and inner child work around my fears with certain behaviors, and sleep was a big one. It really helped me and my daughter. I realized I had very deep feelings of fear and anxiety about sleep and that I was abandoning her in some way. I also could not handle her negative emotions (or my own at the time) and had to do some serious work around that. I found that just identifying with curiosity NOT judgement, the feelings it was bringing up for me and working through those, changed our sleep struggles dramatically and we felt really connected around bedtime after that, even if she was very upset. I would just sit and listen and also pay attention to what was happening for me. I would write down the “stories” I was telling myself and reality check them. I realized I felt too much responsibility for making her sleep and for her feelings. The guilt was getting in the way. Not much in the way of “here’s how to get your kid to sleep” but maybe it will help!

Hi Bee, I don’t know if it will work for you. But when my daughter was that age it really helped if I said you can do one mpre thing with that toy (e.g push the car one more time) then we ‘re going to say bye bye to the toy and the playground. We would go to each piece of playground equipment and wave bye bye. It seemed to often help the transition for her.

Hi Janet,

I would actually love to hear what you would do in this situation. I struggle with what to do when my 3.5 year old escalates to the point of throwing items or hitting. I’ve tried calmly sitting with her through the anger, but it seems to enrage her more. I end up putting her in her room, then coming in 10 minutes later to help her calm down (she’s usually more open to my help at that point). What would you do? How do you set a clear, loving boundary in this situation?

You should really be careful with essential oils around babies and children. Some can be very dangerous with infants. Here is an essential oils safety website. Great resource. http://www.learningabouteos.com/

Meagan, have you tried essential oils, chiropractic care and/or going somewhere where he can get more exercise to reset? I hope you both get some rest soon!

I’m really struggling with the crying that seems to happen when I’m doing something and he needs my attention. I get angry and have started to tell him he is a whinger whilst I’m angry. I feel terrible that I can’t control my anger and am verbally lashing out more and more often – its now daily that I yell. I’m hating myself and think he might be better off without me in his life. I do give him loads of cuddles normally and talk to him after telling him what I said and yelling at him were not OK and that I’m really sorry, but I see him stuffing his emotions away and feel awful about it. I really don’t know what to do about it as I do really try to control my anger, but it bursts out. I need help!