Comments on: Never Too Late for Respectful Parenting

By: alison

alison — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:41:06 +0000

id love to do this stuff. i have implemented what i feel i can. issue is, i didnt find it til a few weeks ago. my baby is 6 months old. there was an awful day where she didnt just cry over being left on her mat. she cried SUPER hard. like the hardest cry ive ever heard. a deep throaty sounding one. she was very upset. i talked to her with calmness and all that, determined to haul forward. by the end of it, she just lay motionless on her belly, sucking her fingers, looking dejected. she got over it when i later picked her up and took her outside. after that, it was like i had a different baby, and it makes me feel awful. for a couple days, she didnt really cry for me. shed lay quietly in bed (we co-sleep) while i slept in for once. she normally alerts me with “talking” cries every morning when shes up. as much as i enjoyed not waking up to someone MAKING me wake up, i couldnt enjoy it, because it made me feel so bad to see her laying there complacently, just waiting for me instead of letting me know she was ready to get up. did i make my child think her cries would go unanswered, despite remaining in communication with her the day before? i felt so bad. my child just didnt cry for me for a couple days like she usually did, and it didnt make me feel good about what id done. instead it made me feel like she felt ignored. i did everything i could to make up for this, without totally forgoing all the GOOD progress i felt id made. but still i cannot stand to just leave her there crying again. i feel bad that it changed her so fundamentally , seemingly, in less than a day. so ive reestablished with her that i wont let her get that upset again. but then i wonder if im STILL doing wrong. i dont know what to think, and everyone has opposing, convincing opinions. any thoughts?

By: Morgan

Morgan — Sat, 02 Apr 2022 00:34:38 +0000

In reply to Nida. Check out @jerricasannes on Instagram. She is also follows REI. She has amazing information on screen time and how to set up an environment for them that encourages play.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 15 Dec 2021 09:19:08 +0000

Hi Janet, how do you correct the overpraising thing? I did it out of ignorance when they were younger but now my 6 and 8 yr old are sort of addicted to getting it and feel offended or unaffirmed if I take more neutral sounding interest in what they’re doing.

By: Nida

Nida — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 10:12:26 +0000

In reply to Kate. Hii janet Ur posts are really informative but i am really fed of my son's behaviour. He is very stubborn, shouts loudly all the time and doesnt write at all in his online classes.. i have not given him screentime since he was born, but as he is 5.5 yrs now and this pandemic also i started to give him 1 hour a day. But he is so fond of mobiles and television that he demands for it evry now and then. Wat shud i do, how shud i limit it to only one hour a day..? And how shud i make him focus or other activities including reading and writing..?

By: Zoe

Zoe — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 18:17:10 +0000

In reply to janet. Very timely for me too. My kids have done ok ish with their homeschooling. Considering they have not seen friends at school since march due to the lockdown and their work had involved working alone in their room they are doing very well really . However next week we head in to the school summer holidays so no more class work to be set and I'd love some tips on how to control pc gaming time for 2 boys aged 12 and 14 who live for their ps4! We are limited to where we are comfortable going due to covid and I feel a long 6 weeks ahead! Help!

By: Patricia

Patricia — Tue, 21 Jan 2020 00:03:57 +0000

In reply to Lindsey. We got these doorknob covers, a baby safety item, which fit ov r the knob and require a press inward to turn the knob. So not exactly a lock but stops our two year old.

By: Sarena

Sarena — Fri, 28 Jun 2019 17:37:07 +0000

Hi Janet,
I love your parenting approach and have been listening and reading your posts for a few months now and notice that when I put the advice to use it really helps! My kids are 9 and 6.5 and thrive on one on one attention and are super sensitive to getting feelings hurt or getting frustrated. One thing I have been having a hard time with is validating their feelings when I feel the crying seems exaggerated. My daughter who is 9 in particular will cry over every little scratch and bump or frustration in an overboard manner and it definitely triggers me to say “You are ok” or “Try not to cry over every little thing”. Yikes. Just reading it makes me cringe. But it is hard for me to try to be sincerely sympathetic when I feel like it is looking for I guess a particular response from me that I am not giving. I don’t think she acts this way at school and it is just around family. I’m just not sure how to not be triggered by all the crying. When I can bring myself to let them cry I tend to say “I’m sorry you did that” , or “I’m sorry you can’t have ice cream right now”. I probably shouldn’t be apologizing for everything, right? Thanks for your advice.

By: Cathy Dahl

Cathy Dahl — Thu, 19 Jul 2018 15:31:30 +0000

Hi Janet,
Thank you for the work that you do!! I discovered your blog and podcasts through a colleague at work as I am an early intervention home visitor in Williamsburg, VA. I try my best to model the philosophies that you teach to the families that I serve as well as incorporate them into my own family life. I have 3 children ages 10, 7, and 6 and I can certainly attest that the respectful parenting approach works. What I struggle with the most is coming to terms with my own upbringing where to express any sort of negative emotion was very much frowned upon. I sincerely try to empathize with my children’s strong emotions, but I truly struggle with what to say or do. I try not to say much, but I often find myself saying, “I am sorry” or encouraging my child to take a walk or ride her bike to calm down. After reading your blog, I feel that these actions may be invalidating, but I don’t know what else to do? I feel that I can’t let one child scream in anger about a sibling’s transgression at the dinner table and ruin the meal for everyone, but it doesn’t seem validating to suggest that she go to her room or go outside to cool off either. I know that you are super busy, but if you have have time to direct me to any previous post/ podcasts that might clear up my confusion, I would sincerely appreciate it.

By: Cecily Young

Cecily Young — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 12:25:52 +0000

Hooray for all you wonderful parents of older kids starting to look at things differently! Don't worry, I'm 35 and would still be so grateful if my mum was able to get on board with some of these ideas haha. It's never, never too late

By: missie

missie — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 03:32:35 +0000

Hi Janet thank you so much for this article. I have a 14 year old boy and an 18 year old boy who argue constantly. My oldest son will be gratuating and I would love to make their relationship better before its too late. And I feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Thank you,
Missie