Wow 1000000% agreed. I’m blown away.

Thank you so much, Sandra!

I really resonate with this poem. My son, 3y.o., was conceived with donor egg and sperm. The egg donor is a family member on my husband’s side, so we needed to use donor sperm. We know a bit about the sperm donor, but have never met him (we’ll get identifying information when my son is 16-18+, if wants it). I have found that one of the many wonderful things about having a child who does not share my DNA is that it has really released he and I both from my subconscious expectations of who he will be. He has a much cleaner slate than I think I would have given him had he come from my own eggs. It has freed me to sit back and enjoy watching him flourish and grow into who he is without those constant comparisons and worries that I think I would have unintentionally had. I did the work of dropping those expectations before he was born when I found out I’d have to use donor eggs if I wanted a baby. That was probably a lot easier to do before the child is born than for genetic parents to do along the way. I feel really lucky in this way, and so is my son. Obviously I’m not void of those wants for him to be happy, be kind and empathetic, have a meaningful career and a happy relationship / family, but I’m conscious that I don’t know how much of this is genetic programming and how much is in his upbringing, and so they’re hopes and desires but not expectations, except being a decent human, that is an expectation for sure, but I think he has excellent role models around for that. All the men in the family are wonderful examples of what good men look like, as are our friends.

Why do you homeschool her? It seems that regular school would provide a much needed break.

And I’ve seen a little screen time is always harder on the kids and the parents. Of course it is. Limited doses of an addictive substance keep the addiction alive.

I don’t believe what Janet says about freedom includes screens. They are dangerously addictive and reshape the brain in permanent ways in developing brains. I just saw a 25 year old whose whole life is school and gaming. School at 25 because he failed multiple grades since high school and has been a gamer since 10. No girlfriend, no hobbies, no friends, no nothing. So sad. So, do you think giving your child small doses of heroin and then trusting him to not do too much heroin would be the respectful parenting Janet talks about? Don’t doubt for a minute, screens will take your son’s life if you let them. Cut it off. It’s the only way to detox and get the kids back. Sorry the bluntness. Screens damaged my young son and these two years without them have been a blessing. I’ll never ever go back.

Screens don’t benefit children. That can go without completely with no repercussions. The studied are there.

It’s a hard issue. I believe they are too young for a smart phone. You go ahead and check the statistics and studies. Their brain is simply not ready yet. They are, however, the perfect age for a dumb phone.