Thank you, Mary. Your question brings up a lot of questions for me. What kind of activities does your daughter seem to genuinely enjoy engaging in? How does she indicate to you that she’s bored in these situations? “I even feel guilty when I observe her doing nothing or playing with the same toy for hours in what seems like a bored way.” Does she have other options at those times and is choosing that same toy? Generally, children with disabilities do need more intervention, but I would still err on the side of trust for the interests she demonstrates.

On the other hand, I am not sure the “do less, enjoy more, trust more” approach applies to my three year old daughter who has additional needs. Of course all children are different, and all additional needs are different but I am wondering what your opinion is of this area surrounding special needs. My son who is sighted will develop if I leave him to engage in self-directed play, however, my daughter who is totally blind, I’m afraid will not develop if I do less and don’t offer some more adult directed activities. I even feel guilty when I observe her doing nothing or playing with the same toy for hours in what seems like a bored way. She just isn’t motivated to move onto another activity if I do not intervene.

My current predicament is about whether or not I should teach my child to swim. I come from a family of lifeguards, sailors, and swim teachers. Hence, I thought that learning to swim would be natural for my kids. While other parents have enrolled their children in swim lessons, we have just tried to enjoy the water and keep it fun. A few months ago, my 3 year old came out of her room and announced, “Momma, I think I can swim now! I can go in the deep water!” I smiled and was supportive and excited, but in my head I was worried too. She is the kind of strong-willed girl that would probably just jump right into a pool without a grownup because she was suddenly that sure she could do it.

Here we are three months later and I just don’t know what to do. She loves the pools but refuses to try and swim or practice floating, and after reading your post I am wondering if I am doing the wrong thing by trying to “teach” her. I am feeling confused about how to teach my kids to do hard things, while also letting them go at the pace that they need.
She enjoys shallow wading pools. Do we stick with those until she’s ready? Do I enroll her in swim lessons if she is resistant and says she doesn’t want to? Do I let her wear a floaty or a life vest so she can enjoy the pool even though she can’t swim and the “experts” say it makes it harder for them to learn later on?

I want her to swim, and I want her to be safe around the water. She is very stubborn and if she doesn’t want to do something, like take a swimming class, she will absolutely not do it without lots of screaming and shouting. Swimming classes here say that is par for the course with many kids when they are learning. How do I help my kids learn to do hard things that take practice, while still respecting who they are and where they are at?

Thank you much, Rebecca!